jaded

when was the time when you first felt ordinary? when the things that made you special weren’t as special anymore? was it when you first found out that you shared your name with a million other people? or was it during college, when you finally accepted that yes, there are people who are way smarter than you…a lot actually. however way it might have happened, that moment is one of the saddest moments of your life. at least it is for me.

i used to believe that i was slightly better than everyone else. that i had things going for me that other people can only dream about. i guess i thought i was invincible or something. that’s why it was really tough when reality hit me. and boy, did it hit hard. it was a very humbling experience. something to remind me that i am just like everyone else. which means that everything that i’ve experienced and every emotion that i’ve felt is everyone else’s. there just wasn’t anything special about any of them. i guess it’s like finding a treasure only to realize that somebody else was there before you. and in my darkest moments, i ask myself why i even bother at all.

being ordinary sucks.